


Lion's Den

by CMSWAT201320



Category: S.W.A.T. (TV 2017)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:33:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27993819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CMSWAT201320/pseuds/CMSWAT201320
Summary: At the end of Lion's Den, Chris tried calling Street first but he didn't pick up. But what if he did answer Chris's call, and Chris went to his place instead?
Kudos: 23





	1. Chapter 1

Since the ‘talk’ with Ty and Kira last night, if you could even call it that, I’ve been agitated and restless and angry and just…hurt. I thought Kira and I were on the same page, that she wanted to give just the two of us a try without Ty in the background. There was always a spark between the two of us, a connection I never had with anyone else, and thought she could be someone I could get serious with. Then Ty came into the picture and I gave it my all, always…but no matter how hard you try sometimes, your heart knows before your brain catches up what it really wants. And my heart was screaming for Kira and only Kira, no Ty. My brain just couldn’t process that there is no Kira without Ty being there. They wouldn’t, couldn’t, give each other up for anyone.

Maybe that’s how I found myself at HQ way before anyone else going at it on the bag; beating my emotions onto something that doesn’t have feelings and can’t hurt me back. I didn’t sleep last night and when sunlight started shinning I only wanted to get out of their place as quick as possible. I couldn’t even think of the place as ‘ours’. I got dressed and beat it out of there before Ty and Kira even woke up. Getting into the silent locker room at HQ only made everything worse, so I changed, grabbed my boxing mitts and went straight for the bag. Going through the combinations all that runs through my head is the look Kira gave me last night after she said she couldn’t cancel the wedding, a look of regret and sorrow. Was she sorry she couldn’t break it off with Ty? Was she sorry for bringing me into this relationship in the first place? I couldn’t help but start to wonder if she really mean it when she said she loved me, or was that said just to keep me around?

The thoughts and questions still swirl around inside me when Deacon catches up to me, commenting on how hard I’m going when the day was just beginning. I don’t hold back talking to him, letting him know how everything went down last night when he asks about the talk. He’s the only one who knew things were going south, the only one who had checked up on me the day before when he noticed I was spacing myself away from the guys. Maybe it’s because of that, or maybe because he’s the only one in a solid relationship, that I really listen when he says I know what I need to do. I don’t hesitate to tell him I’m taking a personal day; I’d be a risk in the field the way my head is spinning.

I don’t remember changing or getting into my truck or even driving off, which is scary thinking back on it now. I guess my brain went on autopilot, trying to help hide me from the heartache I knew was to come. One minute I was saying bye to Deac, and the next thing I knew I was parking in front of their place, putting my truck in park and shutting it off. There’s one thought that runs through my head that makes this just a little bit easier: no one is home. Both are at work, I won’t have to talk to them or answer any questions yet. That fact makes it easier to step out and walk into their place, locking the door behind me. 

I look around the open concept space and can’t help thinking back on all the good memories here. All the times we cooked together, when they asked me to move in with them, the late Valentine’s dinner we had the night Deac’s daughter Victoria, my goddaughter, was born. Reliving those memories is like a high I don’t want to come down from because I know what will come next; the crash, the hurt knowing they choose each other, leaving me on the curb. Shaking my head to clear my mind of the thrills, I move to the closet where one of my bins is kept so I can get past the hurt as quick as possible.

I don’t move fast enough. I had gathered my stuff from the kitchen and was in the bedroom when I heard the front door open. Rushing to the side of the bed to hide my bin, I pull the bed covers lose when Kira walks in. She’s shocked to see me when I’m supposed to be at work. Telling the fakest lie about not feeling well, I can’t help but let my emotions get the best of me when I tell her I can take care of myself. She tries to placate me, saying we can make it work after the wedding and how great the three of us mesh. I try to believe her, but when she says ‘I love you’ this time, I hear the difference between how she says it to me compared to Ty. It’s astronomical, and I know I can’t stay.

She leaves and I rip my clothes off the rack, taking them off the hangers and folding them. I make trips through the bathroom and kitchen again, looking in every closet and storage space to take what belongs to me. It doesn’t take long thankfully, I didn’t bring much over since they had everything already. Any furniture I had before moving in is in a storage unit across town until I need it again. Guess I’ll be needing it sooner than I thought. Oh, apartment hunting, can’t wait to be doing that again. 

I don’t leave right away. I know I can’t leave without telling them; it would only make them worried to come home and see all my stuff gone, especially since I told Kira I wasn’t feeling well. It doesn’t feel right to text them or call them or leave a note of some kind. I have to do it face to face, to both of them. Even if it kills me. I sit on the couch, staring at the photo of Champ I had brought over, when they get home hours later. They came through the door laughing about something, but when they see me and my things packed you could feel the temperature drop in the room. Ty closed the door and Kira placed her bag on the kitchen counter, both making their way over to me on the couch. 

As soon as they sit down I start the conversation I had been dreading all day. “I’m done. I can’t do this relationship anymore.”

Kira looks shocked, her hand flying to grab Ty’s, as she fights to find words. Ty lets out a sigh, but it doesn’t sound like it’s one of shock. It sounds more like a sigh of relief. Before they say anything, I keep going. “I can’t do this relationship anymore because I’m in love with you Kira…but I’m not with you Ty. What the two of you have between each other doesn’t compare to what either of you have for me. I see it, when you two look at each other. You two look at each other like you’re the star in the sky to brighten the way for each other. I just don’t feel that way. I’m not meant to be with the two of you.” I place the key to their place on the coffee table before standing up, grabbing my bin and walking out the door one final time. None of us say anything.

The tears start once the door closes. I had been pushing them back for so long it’s as if the door closing allowed the dam to break, allowing them to come forward. They trek down my face as I descend the stairs and out into the nighttime air towards my truck. Getting inside I take a shaky breath in, setting the bin on the passenger side seat and grab my phone. There’s only one person I want to be around right now; the one person who’s been my sounding board through this whole complicated mess; one of the few people who told me I was setting myself up for heartache. Maybe it’s a mistake looking to be near him right now, when I’m feeling so broken and lost, but he’s the only one I want by my side right now. So, I call him.

It only takes two rings before Street answers, excitement and happiness in his voice. “Hey what’s going on Chris? Missed you today, we could have used your skills on a call.” I try to answer him, I do, but emotions get caught in my throat and I don’t speak in fear of bawling over the phone. He must catch something, though, because when he speaks next, it’s full of genuine concern. “Chris? Hey, you still there?”

I rush the words out. “Hey can I come over? I really, really don’t wanna be alone.”

He hesitates for a second, no surprise since I had been doing everything possible to keep distance between us since the dreaded kiss, but he recovers quickly. “Yeah, I’m at the house. I’ll see you soon.”

I don’t even say ‘thanks’ or ‘bye’; I just hang up. I take a few more deep breaths before even starting the truck and driving away from the place I had called home and the people I had called my boyfriend and girlfriend for so long. Now I was single and homeless. The whole trip to Street’s my mind played back the whole day: that morning, packing my things, and the dreaded talk with the both of them. The tears keep falling slowly and quietly down my cheeks, some shuddered breaths escaping every now and then but I do not fully break down. Couldn’t afford to while driving, no need to get into an accident.

It didn’t take long to reach Street and Luca’s place thanks to lighter than normal traffic. Parking on the street I turn the truck off, grab my backpack and walk up to the front door. Street must have been waiting for me because I don’t even have to knock, he opens the door as I get closer. We make eye contact, he lets me in with a soft “hey”, I walk inside, he closes the door. I drop my bag on the ground by the pinball machine, turn to face him, and he must see the hurt in my eyes because he opens his arms up to me without saying anything and I fall into them, tears falling faster than they had all day. 

His hands rub up and down my back as I cling to him, the sobs finally coming after being denied for so long. He doesn’t say anything, which I’m thankful for, just stands there with me in his arms, the only sound being my sobs and the pinball machine sound effects. How long we stand there I have no idea, but it’s the wet nose and soft cry of a dog that separates us. I let out a wet laugh as I let go of Street and give some needed attention to Duke.

“Sorry about that. I had him locked in Luca’s bedroom but he knows how to unlock doors,” Street apologizes. I don’t say anything, using the excuse of petting Duke to help calm my emotions and get me back on track. Street leads me over to the couch where Duke joins me, placing his head on my lap, Street disappearing somewhere in the house. Duke sits up on the couch, his tongue licking my cheek, and I can’t help but let out a soft laugh as I pet his soft coat and relax for the first time in days. Nothing beats the comfort of an animal when your feelings and emotions are all over the place. They’re so therapeutic. 

Street’s hand holding a cup comes into my peripheral vision. “It’s just some tea,” he says when I give him a quizzical look, thinking about the last time just the two of us drank together. I take it and sip some of it as he takes a seat next to me after Duke leaves the couch, only to take place by my feet. Street doesn’t say anything for a little bit, but eventually asks the dreaded question. “Wanna talk about it?” 

Trying to deflect a little longer I say, “You don’t even know why I’m here.”

He knows I’m playing him, biding my time. He doesn’t let me have much time. “I can hypothesize based off of observations. Observation one: you took a personal day today when you never miss work; observation two: your truck is packed full of your stuff; observation three: you just cried into my arms for ten minutes, and you never cry unless something personal has happened, like when Champ died. Now unless something has happened to your family the only thing that would make you this upset is your relationship ending.”

The blunt way he says it makes my heart hurt more and the tears threaten to fall again. I take a shuddering breath in, hoping it’ll prevent the tears from falling but I feel a few slip down my cheek. I pull my knees into my chest, wrap my arms around them, and lay my head on my knees, trying to put my walls back up so I don’t feel anything. Too much is running through me and I don’t know how much longer it’ll reside in me before it explodes again. Street places his arm around my shoulders and rubs up and down, providing me comfort and a way to center myself in the present and not think about the past. 

I hear Street sigh, feel him shift on the couch slightly, before both of his arms are around me in a hug once again. “I’m sorry Chris,” he softly says by my ear. A sob escapes from me but I keep my face hidden in my knees. “Just let it out Chris. Don’t hide from the emotions, let them out. It’s not good to keep them in. I’m here with you Chris. I’m not leaving you.”

It’s those last words that convince my body to let everything out, as if I hadn’t cried enough just minutes before. The sobs come again and overrun my system; I have no control over them anymore. I stay curled up in my ball for a bit, but the presence of Street right next to me and Duke below me is too much and I find myself uncurling so I can fully reside in Street’s arms, giving Duke room to come back on the couch and lay across my lap. The whole time I cry, Street’s arms stay around me, his hands rubbing up and down my arms, giving me positive feelings instead of the grief that threatens to suck me down. Duke cries every now and then, sensing I’m upset, and I managed to pet him to try and show him I’m ok. Not that it works…not for a while at least.

Eventually my body decides it’s had enough for the day; the sobs stop, the tears slow down to the point where I don’t even feel them falling down my face, and I feel in control enough to let go of Street and wipe my eyes dry. He hands me a box of tissues and I take a few, blowing my nose multiple times to clear it of the snot stuck inside. Exhaustion hits me harder than it ever has before after I blow my nose for the final time. I can’t even think straight and I feel like my whole body is shaking, as if adrenaline is running through my veins. I think I hear Street talking to me but it’s so muffled I can’t understand him. He leaves me suddenly, and Duke rises from laying across my lap to sitting upright again and licking my face. Had it not been for Duke I probably would have passed out right then and there.

Suddenly Street is back with a different mug than before and he’s all but shoving it into my hands. He’s talking but I still can’t understand him, my ears are ringing. I feel him take my hands and put them on what I think is the mug and guide it up to my mouth. My mouth opens naturally and I feel the cool presence of water entering my system and suddenly I’m wide awake. I try to drink it all at once, but Street moves my hands away and I can hear him now saying, “Slow sips now. I don’t want you getting sick.” With his help I pace myself until the cup is empty and then he takes the empty mug, my hands going slack, eyes closing again, adrenaline gone.

It’s Street shaking me that makes my eyes open again. He’s staring at me with such concern and worry on his face I feel bad for placing it there. He shouldn’t have to worry about this, worry about me and my failed relationship. He even knew that Ty and Kira weren’t right for me, he said it all those months ago after the raid where he and Hondo were accused of killing a civilian. I just didn’t want to believe him. 

He shakes me again, he must have been trying to get my attention. “Chris? Are you back with me?”

Shaking my head to clear the cobwebs inside them, I remove his hand from my shoulder. “Yeah,” I try to say but my throat is as dry as sandpaper, even after all the water I’ve drank. Clearing my throat I say, “Yeah, I’m here and I’m fine. Sorry you had to see all of that. Um…I should go.” I try to stand but once I do an intense wave of dizziness hits me and I stumble, almost falling on the couch again when Street garbs me and gently settles me down. He pushes my head in between my knees and rubs my back in circles yet again, waiting for me to get my vision back.

When I feel somewhat ok I look up and find him staring at me, the worry only intensified. “You’re not going anywhere tonight. You’re staying right here. When’s the last time you ate something?”

I ignore his last question and try standing up again. “I’m not staying here,” I say as loud as I can as I try and take some wobbly steps. My legs feel like they’re made of Jell-O. I make it three steps before he gently takes my arm, stopping me from moving. “Street, I can’t stay here,” I try to argue with him when he comes into my face.

“Where are you going to go Chris?” he asks. “I hate saying this so bluntly but you don’t have a home right now. You broke up with your boyfriend and girlfriend who you were living with, you just spent a good forty-five minutes crying, you can barely stand straight, and I bet you haven’t eaten anything since maybe last night or lunch yesterday. You feel raw and broken, and you need someone to help you right now. I’m honored it’s me you called, who you chose to be this vulnerable around. I have your back and just want to make sure you’re as ok as you can be right now.” He sighs and I feel him back away from me slightly. “You want to leave I can’t stop you. But know that if you leave, I won’t be able to sleep knowing you're who knows where feeling like you do right now.”

His silence gets me thinking and everything he’s said is true. I do still feel raw and broken, I haven’t eaten since lunch with the guys yesterday, all the crying has left me exhausted, and I still really, really don’t want to be alone. Back in the truck Street had been the only person I wanted to be with for all of this. Why? I could have gone to Hondo, or Tan, or Deacon and his family. Instead I chose the guy who I hated when he first joined the team, but then grown to respect and get the best friend I’ve ever had in my life. I realize I came to Street because I trust him with things I haven’t mentioned to others. He knows when to push and when to back off. Hondo I have the worry of him being my boss and possibly getting me sidelined even though I know he wouldn’t unless needed; Tan has his own relationship to worry about, and just wouldn’t get where I’m coming from. I could have gone to Deac’s, he was my next call incase Street didn’t answer, but he wasn’t my first because I didn’t want to fight with Annie. Street just gets me, like right now; helping me realize where I need to be, for both of us, is here.

I look back at Street and see the genuine concern in his eyes, the worry that would stay there if I did leave. Where would I go anyway if I did leave? Sleep in my truck? Go to a motel? Neither of those sounded pleasant, especially with work in the morning. Sighing I let out a soft, “Ok” and look at him. “I’ll stay.”

His smile is the brightest I think I’ve ever seen it before. He loops his arm around my shoulders, partially to give me comfort but I also think it’s for his peace of mind in case I collapse on him. At some point he grabbed my backpack, it was looped around his shoulder. “Come on, you can sleep on my bed; I’ll take Luca’s for the night.”

I try to shake his hand off my shoulder but he wasn’t having it. “No, Street, I can sleep on the couch. I’ll be fine, and I promise I won’t try to leave.”

He turns to face me, the concern still ever present. “Chris, you almost passed out on me, and you look exhausted. I’m willing to bet money you didn’t sleep last night.” When I don’t say otherwise he goes on, “You need a good night’s sleep in a real bed. Trust a couch surfer pro: an actual bed is so much better than a couch, especially the one we have. Your back will thank you in the morning.”

I nod my head, knowing I wasn’t going to win. “Alright, alright, you win Street.” He smiles and leads me down to his room. It’s a decent size with a queen size bed, dresser, and a small closet and bathroom. As he gathers stuff for himself I can’t help but smile and be thankful that I have such a kind and caring friend to take me in like this at the last minute. “I didn’t ruin any plans you had tonight, did I?” I ask, thinking he may have had something going on with Molly.

He shakes his head as he gathers his clothes and bathroom stuff. “No, after the mission today she wanted personal time with her dad, and her brother was coming back into town. It was a dicey situation for a while.” Looking back at me, as if he could sense I was about to ask, he says, “I’ll fill you in tomorrow. Right now, you look like you’re about to collapse. Get in bed and get some sleep.”

I take my backpack from him and give him one final hug for the night. “Thanks again for everything, Street. You always have my six.” I hear him laugh slightly, feel him rub my shoulder, then pull away and look at me with that damn smile of his. “I’ll always have you back, Chris. You’re my best friend.” With that he lets me go, says a quick goodnight before shutting the door.

I can’t help but look around his room after changing into more comfortable clothes. He has some photos lined up but not many. There’s one from when I assume he graduated from the police academy, one with him and Buck in their younger years, there’s one with a bunch of kids probably from one of the group homes he was in, but it’s the one that’s dead center that pulls on my heart. It’s a double photo frame, the top photo being the whole team right after Street was placed with us leaning against Black Betty; the bottom one is a photo of just me and him, his shoulder wrapped around mine and me laughing about something. I can’t think of where this was taken, but it fills my heart with love knowing he treasures that photo so much. As I lay down to sleep for the first time in days, his scent surrounding me, I can’t help but think about my feelings for him, if I really do love him, and how now that he’s with Molly I may have lost my chance at a great relationship with him. At least you still have him as a friend, I think as I close my eyes and let his scent drift me away to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

The sound of paws clacking on the hard wood floor wakes me up. It takes me a minute to remember where I am, but after opening my eyes and seeing Street’s backpack next to his closet it all comes back to me. I broke it off with Ty and Kira; I packed everything up and left them; I came to Street’s and cried in his arms for well over an hour last night, and then crashed in his room. I check my phone to see if maybe they had messaged me, specifically Kira, but there’s nothing. Not a text, not a missed call, not even an email. Street and Deac had been right all along: I was setting myself up for heartache.

I push the covers off me and get out of Street’s bed, still feeling exhausted and numb, but now with a massive headache to add to it. One hand goes to my forehead, rubbing it in circles as if that will make the headache go away, while my feet lead me out of Street’s room and into the main part of the house. I smell something incredible cooking, my mouth starts to water, and I realize how hungry I actually am. Since the mess with Ty and Kira started I hadn’t been that hungry, and once the emotional stuff kicked in my apatite went away completely. Keeping my free hand against the wall just in case I make my way into the kitchen where I find Street and Duke.

Duke was laying on the ground by the kitchen table, but he pops up on all four legs when he sees me, tail wagging and tongue flopping to the side. I sit on the closest chair and give him some loving, him licking my face in return. He whines for a moment, as if he can tell I’m still hurting like last night, before jumping on my lap. After the brief moment of shock goes away I laugh and bury my face into his fur, wrapping my arms around his neck and taking in a deep breath. I never thought I would be this close to a dog after Champ died, but maybe I should get another one when I get back on my feet. Might do me some good to not be alone.

“Morning,” I hear Street say from the other side of the kitchen. I look up from Duke and find Street by the stove, two pans cooking something that make my mouth water again, reminding me of how hungry I am. He looks my way, gives me a brief smile, before turning back to the stove. “Hope we didn’t wake you; I was trying to let you sleep a bit more. How’re you doing?”

He’s not looking at me so I don’t have to fake a smile. “Ok, I guess. Killer headache,” I say as I bring one of my hands up to my forehead, rubbing at it again as it pounds like a drum. The lights suddenly seem brighter, I squeeze my eyes shut and bring my palms into my eye sockets. Duke whines again, licks my face before I feel him jump off of me. I’m so concentrated on applying pressure to my head I don’t hear Street move closer to me until I feel his hand on my back, rubbing circles like he did last night. It takes some time but the pressure eventually lightens up and I can take my hands away from my face and look into Street’s face. He looks concerned, so I nod my head slightly to let him know I’m ok for now.

He stops rubbing my back but he keeps his eyes on me. “The headache is probably from dehydration and hunger. When’s the last time you ate anything?” When I don’t answer within five seconds, he sighs and walks back towards the stove. “Too long then if you can’t remember. Well I made some eggs and sausage and I have bread so we can toast some if you want. What do you want to drink? I’ve got OJ and milk or water.” As he’s talking to me he’s scooping everything onto two plates, walking back towards me after getting Duke out of the kitchen. He places the plates down and stares at me, waiting for me to tell him what I want to drink, but I can’t think because the smell of food is right in front of me and I start digging in. I should be embarrassed eating like this in front of someone. I haven’t gobbled up my food like an animal does since my climbing eval two years ago, but I’m just too hungry to care what Street will think.

A glass filled with OJ appears in front of me suddenly. I stop briefly and look up at Street, who has the biggest grin on his face. “Glad to know the food is edible, I usually don’t cook that well.” He sits down next to me with his own cup of OJ and starts eating at a normal human pace, unlike me. 

I swallow the bit of eggs I had in my mouth and grab a napkin to wipe my face. “Sorry about that,” I apologize, staring down at my plate which is already halfway gone. “I don’t know what came over me.”

“Nothing to apologize for,” he says. When I look at him, he smirks at me before continuing. “I mean, you’ve seen all of us eat less then pleasantly before. I’m sure we’ve grossed you out a few times. Remember that time we walked into the kitchen at HQ and found Luca practically inhaling Hondo’s gumbo? It was all over his face and down his shirt, he looked like a toddler eating by themselves for the first time.”

A laugh slips out along with a smile as I think back to that day. Luca wasn’t even embarrassed when we caught him like that, bowl by his face with the gumbo sliding down his chin onto his shirt. Hondo had called Luca a pig while Deac had said his kids had better table manners than that. Luca just smiled and continued eating. Coming back to the present moment, I smile at Street, say “thanks” before going back to my food.

We eat in silence until both of us are done, dishes are washed, cleaned and put away. “How’s the head now?” Street asks, and I tell him it still hurts but not as bad as before. He hands me some Excedrin from his bathroom cabinet and I take it without fighting him, knowing it’ll help me get through this long day. “You sure you want to come into work today?” he asks me as I head back into his room to change into regular clothes.

I look at him and say the truth. “I’m fine Street. I feel a lot better and honestly, I need some normalcy right now. I need to be at work doing something instead of doing nothing. I need to be with my family.” 

He stares at me, trying to figure out if my words are genuine and how I’m really doing. I must have convinced him because he shakes his head and says “OK.”

I smile at him. “I’m gonna change and then head over to my storage unit to drop all that off. I’ll meet you at HQ for shift.” I close the door, change quickly, grab my backpack, and head out the door. I need to shower and brush my teeth, but it just feel weird to use Street’s shower. I’ll just use the shower at HQ.

It only takes me fifteen minutes to reach my storage unit from Street’s place. I grab one of the rolling carts the company has for us to use, load it up and bring my stuff to my unit. Unlocking it and rolling up the door, I get a look at my things for the first time in a while. I hadn’t been here since I put everything away to start a new life with Ty and Kira. I close my eyes, take a deep breath and let it out, trying to keep the emotions and thoughts back for just a bit longer. I grab the boxes and put them inside, only stopping to grab Champ’s picture. This is coming with me, I can’t just leave it. Champ’s picture in hand, I slide the door close, lock it and leave, ready to be back with the people who love me.

Parking my truck at HQ I see I’m not the first one there. Street’s bike is there, along with Hondo and Deac’s car but it doesn’t look like Tan is here yet. I head into the locker room, place Champ’s photo in my locker before grabbing my shower supplies and work clothes and head to the shower. The warm water helps me relax and unwind, some of the tension that resided in my shoulders melt away, and I slowly start to feel like myself again. I let the water run over me for a bit before shutting the water off, drying and dressing. I just pulled out my toothbrush and toothpaste when Deac walks through the door. 

We stare at each other before I regain my voice and give him a “Hey.” He doesn’t look away and I know he wants to ask but he also wants to respect my privacy, so I speak before he has to ask. “It’s done. I ended it, I left them.” I look away from him, sighing before saying, “You were right. I was setting myself up for heartache.”

I hear his footsteps come closer. I look up and see him over my right shoulder, his eyes portraying sadness. “I’m sorry Chris,” he says. I can’t think of anything to say so I go back to brushing my teeth. He moves away from me to go to his locker and give me space, but he doesn’t leave. Once I spit, rinse and put my things back in my locker he speaks up again. “You sleep someplace safe last night?” 

“Yeah I went to Street’s.” I sit on the bench, as does he, and I find myself telling him everything that went down the past twenty-four hours. I don’t know why I do it. Maybe it’s because he’s been honest from the start, maybe it’s because I trust him with everything, or maybe it’s because I see him as the father figure I never really had. I know I have all my uncles to look up to, but Deac is different somehow. The whole time I’m talking to Deac I can’t look him in the eyes or keep my hands still, I’m fiddling with them the whole time. It’s probably because I’m talking about something that’s making me emotional. When I run out of words, my hands still keep moving until Deacon grabs them in his and squeezes. I can’t make myself look up but he talks anyway.

“Chris, I can’t even imagine what you’re going through right now. But you did what you needed to do. It’ll take time, but you’ll find someone who is the right fit for you. In the meantime, know you have this whole team who will help you with whatever you need. I know Lilah would love to see you again, it’s been too long.”

The thought of the last time I saw her, the night of the fundraiser and the conversation Annie and I had, sends shivers down my spine. “Does Annie want to see me again?” The way she was talking to me at the fundraiser made it seem like she wanted nothing to do with me ever again.

Deac sighs. “I talked to her last night about how you may be stopping by for the night. When I told her why she immediately went to gather pillows and blankets from all the closets to make the couch more comfortable. I think she was more worried than I was when you didn’t call or come over.” When I don’t say anything, he says the words I didn’t realize I needed to hear. “She regrets her words, about how she wouldn’t have made you Victoria’s godmother had she known about your relationship. She’s happy to have you be part of the family.”

I give him the best smile I can before speaking. “If Street hadn’t answered you were next in line. He was the one I wanted to be with…and I can’t figure out why.”

Deac smiles before he gets up. “He’s your best friend. Best friends know what each other needs. You were hurting and you went to the person who could provide that comfort you were looking for.” He gives me a pat on the shoulder, says “See you out there” before leaving.

I take a few minutes to gather myself. Deac had been right, as almost always. Street is my best friend, and I knew he would look out for me and let me do what I needed to do. He has my back, even after I told him we couldn’t be friends outside of work all those months ago. It isn’t just Street I can rely on: I have the whole team who would be there for me in the next steps of my life. I have a support system to keep me going even in the dark days.

I tie my boots up and leave the locker room, heading to the Situation Room where I see everyone else is working on something. They fill me in and we get to work, not time for small talk. They day goes by fast and before I know it shift is over. We’re all in the locker room, changing clothes and talking about plans for the night since we’re off the next day. We all head out to grab a quick drink, and I soak in the positivity and happy emotions from everyone and find myself laughing more than I have in a long time.

It’s not until we’re leaving I realize I don’t know where I’m spending the night. Tan and Hondo have left already, leaving me with Street and Deac and both are staring at me. “Where you sleeping tonight Chris? My place or Deac’s?” Street asks. I want to reject both options, but then remember the conversation I had with Deac just that morning. 

“Annie alright with me crashing tonight?” I ask, a smirk on my face. Deac has one, too, and he wraps an arm around my shoulders. “You know it,” he laughs.

Before leaving I give Street a hug and thank him again for everything. “You’re welcome over anytime, even when Luca gets back. As long as you put up with his insomnia.” All three of us laugh as we get to our rides, then head our separate ways. 

Once at Deac’s, Annie gives me the biggest hug I’ve had from her in a while when I get inside. We don’t say anything to each other, but I see it in her eyes she’s sorry about everything. The three older kids come running up to me, not quite their bedtime yet, so we watch TV for a bit and play some games before Annie and Deac send them to bed. Victoria was already asleep fort the night by the time we made it home. Deac and Annie help me get the couch situated then leave me be for the night. Laying on the couch, eyes about to close, I think back over what’s happened the last few days. I’ve lost a relationship, I’ve lost my place to live, but I still have the best support system a person could ask for, and nothing can top that. I go to sleep knowing I can make it through this rough patch with people I trust always having my six.


End file.
